ABOUT
You understand the websites (WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com) are not claiming Graeme Seabrook is an agent, publicist, accountant, financial planner, lawyer, therapist, or any other licensed or registered professional. You may not rely on any information on this site as individual advice.
WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is not directive advice, counseling, or therapy. The services provided by Graeme Seabrook, et al may address overall goals, specific projects, or general conditions in a client's life or profession. Coaching services may include setting priorities, establishing goals, identifying resources, brainstorming, creating action plans, strategizing, asking clarifying questions, and providing models, examples, and in-the-moment skills training.
None of the presenters/writers/contributors act as a therapist providing psychoanalysis, psychological counseling, or behavioral therapy. User understands WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com will not prescribe or assess micro and macronutrient levels; provide health care, medical or nutrition therapy services; or diagnose, treat or cure any disease, condition or other physical or mental ailment of the human body. User understands if they should experience any such issues they should see their registered physician or other practitioner as determined by their own judgment.
If the User is under the care of a health care professional or currently uses prescription medications, User should discuss any dietary changes or potential dietary supplements use with their doctor, and should not discontinue any prescription medications without first consulting their doctor. User understands the information on WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is NOT medical or nursing advice and is not meant to take the place of seeing licensed health professionals.
There are no refunds for products or services purchased from WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com, et al.
WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com is owned by Graeme Seabrook (“Company”, “we”, or “us”). The term “you” refers to the user or viewer of WholeHumanMama.com and GraemeSeabrook.com (“Website”).
This Privacy Policy describes how we collect, use, process, and distribute your information, including Personal Data (as defined below) used to access this Website. We will not use or share your information with anyone except as described in this Privacy Policy. The use of information collected through our Sites shall be limited to the purposes under this Privacy Policy and our Terms of Service to customers.
Please read this Privacy Policy carefully. We reserve the right to change this Privacy Policy on the Website at any time without notice. In the event of a material change, we will let you know via email and/or a prominent notice on our Website.
Use of any personal information or contribution that you provide to us, or which is collected by us on or through our Website or its content is governed by this Privacy Policy. By using our Website or its content, you consent to this Privacy Policy, whether or not you have read it.
Information We May Collect
We collect personal information from you so that we can provide you with a positive experience when utilizing our Website or content. We will only collect the minimum amount of information necessary for us to fulfill our obligation to you. We may collect:
Please note that the information above (“Personal Data”) that you are giving to us is voluntarily, and by providing this information to us, you are giving consent for us to use, collect, and process this Personal Data. You are welcome to opt-out or request for us to delete your Personal Data at any point by contacting us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com
If you choose not to provide us with certain Personal Data, you may not be able to participate in certain aspects of our Website or content.
Other Information We May Collect:
Anonymous Data Collection and Use
To maintain Website quality, we may use your IP address to help diagnose problems with our server, to administer the Website by identifying which areas of the Website are most heavily used, and to display content according to your preferences. Your IP address is the number assigned to computers connected to the Internet. This is essentially “traffic data” which cannot personally identify you but is helpful to us for marketing purposes and for improving our services. Traffic data collection does not follow a user’s activities on any other websites in any way. Anonymous traffic data may also be shared with business partners and advertisers on an aggregate basis.
Use of “Cookies”
We may use the standard “cookies” feature of major web browsers. We do not set any personally identifiable information in cookies, nor do we employ any data-capture mechanisms on our Website other than cookies. You may choose to disable cookies through your own web browser’s settings. However, disabling this function may diminish your experience on our Website and some features may not work as intended.
What We Do With Information We Collect
Contact You
We may contact you with information that you provide to us based on these lawful grounds for processing:
Process Payments
We will use the Personal Data you give to us in order to process your payment for the purchase of goods or services under a contract. We only use third party payment processors that take the utmost care in securing data and comply with the GDPR.
Targeted Social Media Advertisements
We may use the data you provide to us to run social media advertisements and / or create look-alike audiences for advertisements.
Share with Third Parties
We may share your information with trusted third parties such as our newsletter provider in order to contact you via email, our merchant accounts to process payments, and Google / social media accounts in order to run advertisements and our affiliates.
Viewing by Others
Note that whenever you voluntarily make your Personal Data available for viewing by others online through this Website or its content, it may be seen, collected and used by others, and therefore, we cannot be responsible for any unauthorized or improper use of the information that you voluntarily share (i.e., sharing a comment on a blog post, posting in a Facebook group that we manage, sharing details on a group coaching call, etc.).
Submission, Storage, Sharing and Transferring of Personal Data
Personal Data that you provide to us is stored internally or through a data management system. Your Personal Data will only be accessed by those who help to obtain, manage, or store that information, or who have a legitimate need to know such Personal Data (i.e., our hosting provider, newsletter provider, payment processors, or team members).
It is important to note that we may transfer data internationally. For users in the European Union, please be aware that we transfer Personal Data outside of the European Union. By using our Website and providing us with your Personal Data, you consent to these transfers in accordance with this Privacy Policy.
Data Retention
We retain your Personal Data for the minimum amount of time necessary to provide you with the information and / or services that you requested from us. We may include certain Personal Data for longer periods of time if necessary for legal, contractual, and accounting obligations.
Confidentiality
We aim to keep the Personal Data that you share with us confidential. Please note that we may disclose such information if required to do so by law or in the good-faith belief that: (1) such action is necessary to protect and defend our rights or property or those of our users or licensees, (2) to act as immediately necessary in order to protect the personal safety or rights of our users or the public, or (3) to investigate or respond to any real or perceived violation of this Privacy Policy or of our Disclaimer, Terms and Conditions, or any other terms of use or agreement with us.
Passwords
To use certain features of the Website or its content, you may need a username and password. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of the username and password, and you are responsible for all activities, whether by you or by others, that occur under your username or password and within your account. We cannot and will not be liable for any loss or damage arising from your failure to protect your username, password, or account information. If you share your username or password with others, they may be able to obtain access to your Personal Data at your own risk.
You agree to notify us immediately of any unauthorized or improper use of your username or password or any other breach of security. To help protect against unauthorized or improper use, make sure that you log out at the end of each session requiring your username and password.
We will use our best efforts to keep your username and password(s) private and will not otherwise share your password(s) without your consent, except as necessary when the law requires it or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary, particularly when disclosure is necessary to identify, contact, or bring legal action against someone who may be causing injury to others or interfering with our rights or property.
How You Can Access, Update, or Delete Your Personal Data
You have the right to:
You may unsubscribe from our emails or updates at any time through the unsubscribe link at the footer of all email communications. If you have questions or are experiencing problems unsubscribing, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com
Security
We take commercially reasonable steps to protect the Personal Data you provide to us from misuse, disclosure, or unauthorized access. We only share your Personal Data with trusted third parties who use the same level of care in processing your Personal Data. That being said, we cannot guarantee that your Personal Data will always be secure due to technology or security breaches. Should there be a data breach of which we are aware, we will inform you immediately.
Anti-Spam Policy
We have a no spam policy and provide you with the ability to opt-out of our communications by selecting the unsubscribe link at the footer of all emails. We have taken the necessary steps to ensure that we are compliant with the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 by never sending out misleading information. We will not sell, rent, or share your email address.
Third Party Websites
We may link to other websites on our Website. We have no responsibility or liability for the content and activities of any other individual, company, or entity whose website or materials may be linked to our Website or its content, and thus we cannot be held liable for the privacy of the information on their website or that you voluntarily share with their website. Please review their privacy policies for guidelines as to how they respectively store, use, and protect the privacy of your Personal Data.
Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance
We do not collect any information from anyone under 18 years of age in compliance with COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) and the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation of the EU). Our Website and its content is directed to individuals who are at least 18 years old or older.
Notification of Changes
We may use your Personal Data, such as your contact information, to inform you of changes to the Website or its content, or, if requested, to send you additional information about us. We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify, or otherwise alter our Website, its content, and this Privacy Policy at any time. Such changes and/or modifications shall become effective immediately upon posting our updated Privacy Policy. Please review this Privacy Policy periodically. Continued use of any of information obtained through or on the Website or its content following the posting of changes and/or modifications constituted acceptance of the revised Privacy Policy. Should there be a material change to our Privacy Policy, we will contact you via email or by a prominent note on our Website.
Data Controller and Processors
We are the data controllers as we are collecting and using your Personal Data. We use trusted third parties as our data processors for technical and organizational purposes, including for payments and email marketing. We use reasonable efforts to make sure our data processors are GDPR-compliant.If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us at graeme@graemeseabrook.com
Last Updated: January 2025
“Our parents are examples of survival as a living pursuit. And no matter how different from them we may now find ourselves, we have built their example into our definition of self.” - Audre Lorde
For a moment the other night, I was my mother, and it was horrible. I screamed at my son. And SCREAMED.
I didn’t use any of my tools. I didn’t walk away and calm down. I didn’t count. I didn’t breathe.
You’d think you’d have to breathe in order to scream, but no. My shoulders were up around my ears, my arms and back clenched tight, my jaw grinding, face screwed up in anger.
It was a few minutes, but it felt like hours.
The next morning, I apologized to him, but I still feel the slick slime of guilt and shame all over me, seeping into my soul as I write this.
“It’s okay Mom,” he said in such a small voice, “I know you were really mad at me.”
“No. It is not okay. It is not ever okay for me to scream at you like that, no matter how I’m feeling. I am so sorry, and I am working to do better. I will do better.”
His “okay” was still really small, pulled in, contained. It didn’t feel like communication so much as a wall put up between us.
“I’m not mad; I’m scared. I’m more scared than I’ve ever been in my whole life because I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to fix this for you. And I don’t know how to help you understand how powerful you are. I can see this future for you that just terrifies me. But none of that, not any of that, excuses how I acted. My emotions are not your responsibility.”
He was shocked when I admitted my fears. And he nodded at that last part because he’d heard it from me his whole life. We do a lot of talking about feelings in our house. We want to be sure our kids are kind and empathetic, and we also do our best to model the types of relationships that we hope they’ll have when they’re adults. So it’s important for them to know that our feelings are our responsibility to manage, not theirs.
My son didn’t just copy and paste my face; he stole my brain and my nervous system, too. From the diagnoses to being tapped for the gifted program at school at the exact same age I was…
So you’d think I would know exactly what he needs and how best to parent this mini-me? Right???
Wrong.
Because there are a few things I had that he doesn’t. I was raised with the weight of Black Excellence on my shoulders — not only was it a betrayal of my parents to not bring home straight A’s, but a betrayal of my enslaved ancestors who were tortured for learning to read. Yeah, my parents went straight there.
My parents said that their love was unconditional, but they meant their care. Their regard was VERY much conditional, and so was their support. I was told that I was a failure, a waste of potential, and I was regularly called everything but a child of God in that house.
So, I grew up with a burning need to be perfect. Nothing else could possibly be tolerated. I, obviously, would not be tolerated if I were anything else. Paradoxically, I was deeply attracted to failure and self-sabotage.
My teens and early twenties were all about falling short and falling apart. My thirties were about recovering and breaking new ground. My forties have been about profound healing, self-discovery, and connection.
By the time I was eleven, I’d been screamed at so much that (I thought) it just rolled off my back. My son, at eleven, can count the number of times I’ve screamed at him on one hand. It hits different.
The thing is, you can’t just decide that you’re going to do everything differently than your parents did or even that you’re going to do one specific thing the opposite of how they did it. You have to build your life to be different from how theirs was. I chose therapy. I chose to keep going to therapy even when it got hard, when I didn’t like it, when I didn’t see immediate benefits. I chose honesty with my therapist, with my husband, with my children, with my wider family and friends — about my struggles and about my dreams. I chose to build networks of support and care around me and my family. I chose, over and over again, to build a life that supports all the ways I want to be a different parent than my parents.
IT IS HARD AND IT SUCKS AND I FREQUENTLY HATE IT. (This is how I feel about healing, in general.)
And it means that I’m not the end of the line for my son. I’m not all he has. Neither is Adam. When we’re stumped (like now), we have people to turn to for support. So does our son.
The difference isn’t simply that I yell less. Or that I never, ever denigrate my kids the way I was ground down. It’s not that they live with less pressure or shame. It’s not even that they have parents who apologize when we’re wrong and actively work to repair our relationship.
The difference is in the responsibility.
My kids know that they are not responsible for my feelings. They know that they are not responsible for how I treat them. No excuses.
6th grade didn’t kill me the first time, and it for damned sure won’t take me or my son down this time, either. I’m reaching out for support, and I’m focusing on my self-maintenance, my joy, and my grounding. I’m doing all of this imperfectly and out loud, showing my kids how to stumble and get back up.
I screamed last night, but I was not my mother. Nope. Not even for that moment.
.png){kind=small}
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Suspendisse varius enim in eros elementum tristique. Duis cursus, mi quis viverra ornare, eros dolor interdum nulla, ut commodo diam libero vitae erat. Aenean faucibus nibh et justo cursus id rutrum lorem imperdiet. Nunc ut sem vitae risus tristique posuere. uis cursus, mi quis viverra ornare, eros dolor interdum nulla, ut commodo diam libero vitae erat. Aenean faucibus nibh et justo cursus id rutrum lorem imperdiet. Nunc ut sem vitae risus tristique posuere.
Delete